Thine Ass Is Mine

The title of this post is a quote from Imaginary Jesus. It's a pretty good book... I have shared about it before and well as I taught my Zoology class today this quote came to my mind.
The quote came from King-James Jesus after he kidnapped the talking donkey in order to bargain for her to rescue Magic-Eight-Ball Jesus.

Today our lesson in Zoology was on Ungulates and as we looked at the order Perissodactyla we discussed the donkey. As I prepared to teach I read:

Although donkeys have long been considered ignorant, they are actually quite intelligent creatures. They are not as easy to train as horses, because they seem to have a mind of their own and will not do anything that doesn't seem like a good idea to them. They prefer to do things that are good for the donkey, which may not necessarily be good for the person who owns the donkey.
~ Apologia Exploring Creation with Zoology 3

Well reading this took me to remembering that Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey. I have been taught and have understood that Jesus chose a donkey because it was poor man's animal. It was not a king's steed. It also was to fulfill the Scriptures. I believe all this is true... but I also now think that their might even have been more to the story.

 “Go into the village opposite you, and immediately you will find a donkey tied there and a colt with her; untie them and bring them to Me. If anyone says anything to you, you shall say, ‘The Lord has need of them,’ and immediately he will send them.” This took place to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet:

 “SAY TO THE DAUGHTER OF ZION,
‘BEHOLD YOUR KING IS COMING TO YOU,
GENTLE, AND MOUNTED ON A DONKEY,
EVEN ON A COLT, THE FOAL OF A BEAST OF BURDEN.’”

Matthew 21:2-5

Why the donkey?

Well if you think about it... we as humans can be stupid as a sheep and stubborn as a donkey. Not only was this a donkey, but it was a colt. It was immature, unridden, untrained...

I read this and I think of the description of this donkey and I realize how often I have been there. You know having a mind of my own and not willing to listen to instruction and not planning on doing anything that didn't seem like a good idea to me...

I mean really, like anyone else might have good idea?

How often do we see this in our church and in our homes?

No, sir, we need to go in this direction and your opinion of the matter is really irrelevant because it's not what I personally had planned... so there is no point in even entertaining it...

No, honey, this is the way we need to do it and your idea on the matter doesn't line up with mine and there is no way that your way could be better than mine... so just hush about it...

The donkey is always looking out for the donkey and he is not all that fired up or concerned about how it affects everyone else... including the one who owns him.
Hmmmmm am I hitting home yet?

The last time I checked my body, my mind, my soul, belong to God... not me. When I accepted Christ and believed on Him and confessed Him as my Lord, I surrendered all that I am and ever will be to Him. 

Or do you not know that your body is a temple

of the Holy Spirit who is in you,

whom you have from God,

and that you are not your own? 

For you have been bought with a price:

therefore glorify God in your body.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

In light of this when was the last time you considered what was best for God, your owner. I have to admit that usually when I plan out my day, my future, when I get ideas... the majority of the time the focus is what is best for me. I consider what will work best in my schedule and with the way that I want it to go... then I ask God to make it to happen.

How quickly I forget "Thine ass is Mine"

My life is not my own and it is not to be used for my glory or my benefit. Just as that donkey in the book of Matthew carried Jesus into Jerusalem, I am to be the carrier of Jesus the Christ into my Jerusalem and Jesus is to lead and direct the way. 

Likewise, in my home, my marriage, I am no longer my own.

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother,

and be joined to his wife;

and they shall become one flesh.

Genesis 2:24

The wife does not have authority over her own body,

but the husband does;

and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body,

but the wife does.

1 Corinthians 7:4

In this marriage I am not to live to  myself. My ideas, my decisions, should not be based on what's best for me, but what is best for my spouse and our marriage and our family. It's not about me. I belong now to this marriage and to this family, to my husband... I am not my own and I must make decisions according to what is best for them... not me.

Of course here's the thing, I can't do this on my own. I need Jesus there to control the reigns. As I carry the coverings of others on my back He must be the one who covers all of us... I can't do it on my own.

I am immature, untrained, and unridden. My ideas, my way, may not be the best for others... usually they are not. 

I am ingrained to resist authority and to seek my own personal wants and needs first in a self-protection kind of way. I have to have Christ leading me, growing me, steering me, indwelling me. When I surrender my will to Him, He will help me surrender my will in the other areas of my life as well. 

  And He went a little beyond them,

and fell on His face and prayed, saying,

“My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me;

yet not as I will, but as You will.”

Matthew 26:39

Living our lives with surrendered will does not mean that life will be a bed of roses for us... but it's not about us. It's about Him.
We have to trust that He knows what He is doing, where He is going, and He will see us safely there and through whatever comes our way. We must know that what lies ahead is going to be far greater than anything that lies behind.
I want this stubborn donkey of me to be broken, matured, and trained by my Owner, by the One who first surrendered all for me...
I want to be fully surrendered to Him.

The Human Heart Experiment

Science teaches us many things through experiments, and through these experiments we come to logical conclusions, and most of the time we call these logical conclusions proven facts. When we conduct an experiment we form a test group and from this test group we pronounce a verdict on the whole.
Hmmmm I wonder where man developed this concept?

In the beginning God created man in the image of Himself, male and female He created them in the image of God. Man and woman were in intimate fellowship with their Creator, yet they were deceived by the great deceiver and they believed the lie and denied the truth and sin entered the world and their hearts.

Since this moment the world that was once good has become not so good, and man in the garden tried to blame God for his choice then and still today man tries to blame God for his choices and for the choices of others and for the receiving of the consequences of these choices.

We see all through the Scriptures how man has tried to prove his own goodness by comparing himself to others he deemed not as good as himself. All through the Scriptures we see man blaming God for his choices and blaming God for the consequences of a fallen world. All through the Scriptures we see man trying to make his own way to a god he created because he could make the rules. All through the Scriptures we see man arguing with God out of foolish ignorance of the magnitude of His holiness. All through the world, in the media, on t.v., on the Internet, we see man is still doing the same thing today.

So how does God respond?
I believe God responded with the “Human Heart Experiment.”

God repeatedly has reached out to man and He has not stopped and He won’t until the day of the white throne judgment (Daniel 7:9-10, Rev 20:11-15). Man for some reason just does not want to admit that they need God. Man wants to think that he is not so bad and is doing just fine. He just needs a break, needs society to adapt to him, needs better circumstances; he’s merely a product of his environment and his upbringing. No not at all, he is merely a product of his heart, and he needs God, not a god, but the GOD, and God conducts His experiment to prove it, not to Himself, He knows our hearts, but to prove it to us.

Many years ago a man named Abram was born in the Middle East in a city called Ur. This ordinary man God called out, and said go with Me, listen to Me, I will make you a great nation, give you a land, and in you all the nations will be blessed. This man listened.

God kept His word as He always does, and Abram became Abraham, and he had a son Isaac, who had a son Jacob, who had twelve sons who became the nation of Israel (the accounts of their lives are recorded in the book of Genesis). Israel would be God’s test group in the “Human Heart Experiment.”

We know that Jacob and his twelve sons moved to Egypt during a famine, and there they eventually ended up an enslaved people, yet even in their slavery God blessed them and they grew in number and became a nation. (This was all foretold to Abraham and passed down from father to son as we can tell from the words of Joseph at his death recorded in Genesis 50.)

God brings this nation out of slavery led by a man named Moses. In Exodus 12 God institutes His test group, as He says this month shall be the beginning of months for you, God delivers the nation of Israel out of slavery redeeming them with a great and mighty outstretched arm. He does all the work for them, cares for them , feeds them, and the whole time they are complaining, God has delivered them out of slavery, given them food money and clothing and shelter and yet they still aren’t happy, He still isn’t doing enough to satisfy them (does this sound familiar?).

It took the nation three months to get to Sinai, once there God made the people, the nation of Israel, a proposition. He told them that if they would obey His voice and keep His commandments He would bless them like crazy but if they turned away from Him and broke their promise He would curse them.

God delivered to them His standard of righteousness, the Law, the nation heard the commandments and agreed with God that they were good (because they merely were the written moral law that already was within them) and God gave them the ceremonial Law, which showed them how to approach Him, their holy God. The nation entered into covenant with God, they shook hands and sprinkled blood and said “it’s a deal”.

The test group formed, the standard presented, the variable in place, now what would be the result? We see the result from Exodus 32 through the Prophets, the variable could never meet the standard. No matter how hard they tried, no matter how many chances they had, no matter how many times they went over the rules, they couldn’t do it. Here’s the thing, God knew they couldn’t do it, but they, we, have to realize it ourselves.

Throughout the Scriptures God describes the nations as waters, so we shall do here. Let’s picture the world as a well of water, and we want to check the purity of that water, how do we do it? We take a sample of that water and we test it, and if in that one sample we discover pollutants and disease we declare the entire well polluted and unfit.

God took a sample for the purity of the human heart through the hearts of the nation of Israel, and He tested that sample. He gave them amazing advantage through the revealing of Himself in signs and wonders and His written word, but still the hearts of the people remained polluted. God already knows all human hearts are polluted (Genesis 6:5, Jeremiah 17:9). He has so proven it to us through the Law and the nation of Israel and if we are honest we know that He has proven it within our own hearts.

Now we know that whatever the Law says,
it speaks to those who are under the Law,
so that every mouth may be closed
and all the world may become accountable to God;
because by the works of the Law
no flesh will be justified in His sight;
for through the Law comes the knowledge of sin.
Romans 3:19-20

One of the reasons God gave us the Law was to erase any questions and all excuses. Those who do not have the written Law, yet try to walk by the moral law within them, show the others around them their own sin thus the reason we constantly try and find someone who is worse than us or either we gather all those around us who are most like us with our same sin to somehow make our sin not so bad in our own eyes.

People respond to the knowledge of their sin in several ways, they try to hide it, deny it, justify it, fix it, or seek to destroy the who or what that brought attention to it.

Makes sense now why the nations have always hated the Jew, why the people fight to have the Ten Commandments yanked down from public display, if we destroy the test sample, if we ignore the standard, then we can pretend as though we are just fine. Sorry it doesn't work that way, whether a sample of the well water was taken or not doesn't change the pollutants and disease that is there, it just keeps killing the people who in ignorance drink the water.

Poem Inspired from Romans 1-5

Glory, Hallelujah, Praises to His Name

In Christ alone my hope's secure
No fear is found, my future is sure

Once a fool, believing a lie
Walking in ignorance, yet professing to be wise
Once a slave to my lust
And a deceitful heart I could not trust
Was once filled with filth and hid in the dark
Until I turned toward the Light and righteousness my God by faith did impart

I tried on my own to keep all the rules
On the outside played along I knew what was approved
My life adjusted to the crowd I was in
A different face, different character for family and friend
I knew what was right, knew what was true
I just couldn't get it, but could point a finger at you

Oh but of this struggle I grew weary and tired
And finally my God to Your Christ I did cry

My Jesus I had been told that You had died for me
Bore my sins on that cross atop of Calvary
Your blood had been poured out and a spear pierced Your side
But I heard the grave could not hold You and up You did rise

I was told that You were promised from long ago
And then I searched the Scriptures and I saw that it was so

From Adam to Noah to Job to Abraham
My Jesus You were promised the Savior of all man
From Isaac to Jacob to Judah to Moses spread the fame of Your name
My God Your kingdom would come and was promised forever to reign
Through David, Isaiah, Jeremiah, through all the prophets You spoke
You told us of the One that one day all eyes will behold

And at the right time, my Jesus, while helpless in our sin
You died for all the ungodly who seek to be free and desire to live
Through one man's disobedience all mankind did fall
Sin came, death reigned, and spread through the world, spread to all

Yet through One Man's obedience, One Man's righteous act
Sin was cleansed, death defeated, those who will believe no longer are under wrath
Before God justified by faith in His Christ
Grace obtained, and in my heart God's love poured in, His hope now I have

I rejoice in everything, whether good, whether bad
Knowing He is with me and all has passed through His hands
Saved from well-deserved wrath, once dead now alive
An enemy before, now in Christ reconciled

Glory, Hallelujah, praise to Your name
Glory, Hallelujah, thank You Jesus for the sacrifice made
Glory, Hallelujah, worthy are You the Lamb who was slain
Glory, Hallelujah, because of Christ my sin God forgave
Glory, Hallelujah, in Christ I am free, no longer am I sin's slave
Glory, Hallelujah, my Jesus You are King and in my life You shall reign
Glory, Hallelujah, all praises to Your name

Stress Mess

Yesterday morning our little one awoke to a headache and a small temp. Which immediately still sends a rush of panic through my system.

For six straight years she was sick.
Doctor visit after doctor visit ended in treating symptoms because the blood work tests that had been done thus far couldn't pin-point the root issue. She began to become resistant to antibiotics and would end up going on 2 or 3 rounds of different kinds in order to get her better... to just start over again in less than three months.

It was one of those things that you think you are handling well until you wake up one morning doing this:

This was just my arm... it was worse than this on the rest of my body... from head to toe I was covered with a rash that was induced by stress. Stress from "not worrying" about my baby girl...

So this morning when we awoke to her still running a fever, now burning up with a 103 temp, my husband and I catch ourselves convincing each other that it is nothing and she is going to be fine. While all along panic threatens to overtake us both from the memory of those days when one little sniffle would end us up at the hospital. When we couldn't understand what in the world was going on and why no one could figure it out.

How thankful we are for doctors who don't stop until they know that they know. An immune deficiency had beaten our little one down. Once discovered the doctors treated her with a vaccine and we quarantined her to give her body time to heal.

Today what hurts most is when I still see the fear in my baby's eyes that it is beginning again...

It is here that I have learned to return her look of fear with strong confidence that God has her in His very capable hands. When before I had to leave the room and crumble in a heap of tears on the floor from the fear of the unknown and wondering if I was as crazy as I felt everyone else thought I was.

Around 4pm today we decided to go ahead and make a trip to Urgent Care, which revealed that strep has attacked our little one yet again... but we are confident that she will be well again soon. This is the first antibiotic she has had to take since April 2010. She is so much stronger now.

As is her mother...
No stress rash... I learned my lesson on holding on to worry. I had much rather lay it at the altar of mercy and throne of grace than wear it on my flesh.

The past few years I have been through God's-Got-It boot camp. I have learned lessons in God's grace and mercy and sovereignty that I will never forget. They were not fun... but they were most definitely worth it.

Stand

 

If I fall in a land of peace
If I crumble in the face of the free
How shall I stand in a day of battle
How shall I reign victorious over my enemy

If I can not stand at attention in obedience to my call
When there is no war raging have I ever stood at all.
If I can not live the truth in the protection of this peace
Then how shall I fare when a weapon of hate is pulled on me

If I stumble in this day of privileged liberty
Will I stand when shackles for the gospel are placed on me
If I shrink back at the fear of the loss of approval of man
If my life is threatened how shall I believe I could stand

If I fall in a land of peace
How will I do in the thicket of the war
If I can not stand strong against an enemy already defeated
How shall I win against an enemy that is still yet to come

If I truly am a soldier enlisted and secured
If I lay down and sleep in the hour of still
If I put up my armor and remove my shoes
If I take off my helmet and lay down my shield
If my breastplate is placed on a shelf
My sword sheaved and discarded
I am already defeated though the battle be not started

The day of peace is not for leisure
The time of freedom is not for play
The hour is for training so that I will not be ashamed
So whether in the thicket of the Jordan or safe in Jerusalem's walls
I shall stand, stand firm, by Your grace never shall I fall.

"If you fall down in a land of peace,
How will you do in the thicket of the Jordan?"
Jeremiah 12:5

Ministry and Motherhood are Messy

This is a post a wrote in 2010... but it remains a prayer and point of focus as I walk in 2012...

I began 2010 reading through the Proverbs. My prayer for 2010 was "Lord increase me in wisdom, Your wisdom." Little did I know how much I would need these proverbs as 2010 came rolling in. I thank my God for His Word.

As I studied I came to a particular proverb and out in the margin beside this proverb I have noted "serving the Lord and kids in the house" with a smiley face underneath my little note.

"Where no oxen are, the manger is clean,

but much revenue comes by the strength of the ox."

Proverbs 14:4

I am by birth, by nature, by DNA, a clean freak and a perfectionist. It was once said that you could eat off of my floors. I would have your cup cleaned and in the cabinet before you even finished setting it down from your last swallow.

Then came a baby...then came salvation in Christ...then came another baby...!

Needless to say things changed.

I realized I could have a perfectly clean house or I could have a life that imparted life to others. God says to choose life, so I chose life.

Our homes, our church, our ministries all relate to this verse.
Will we sacrifice a clean manger for the revenue of life...eternal life?

One thing I learned was that I could dust everyday and still when I got up the next morning the dust was back again. I could wash clothes all day and still the hamper would fill up again. I could mop and make my floors shine everyday, but still someone would walk on them and leave their prints behind.

Then I looked at my children and no matter what I did I couldn't make them infants again, I couldn't make the sunshine come back out so I could take them to the park now that the house was clean. I won't be able to make them little leagers again so that I can coach and teach them. I can't make those adoring, innocent eyes, so filled with love and trust, turn back to me after I have repeatedly told them I don't have the time for them.

Trust me I'm still learning to place my priorities, but I am getting better.
Does the house ever get clean?

Yes it does. But it is now in the balance.

In our churches...if we want a church that is full of life...guess what...kool-aid gets spilled on the carpet...the gym floor gets dirty...the paint on the wall gets nicked...but each spill, each nick, each mark was made from a life that was there and heard the message of Jesus Christ?

Isn't it worth it?

In our ministries...ministry is messy! We make our plans, but they don't always go according to schedule. People don't always respond the way we think they should. If we didn't minister to people then we could have a clean, well-organized manger...but what revenue would we have to show for our ministry?

So Mom's don't stress over the house. I mean keep the roaches away and make sure there's nothing growing on the dishes stuck under the bed and try to keep clean underwear for everyone...but I promise you the dust will be back in the morning!

Church instead of frowning at the nicks, stains, and dirt...pray salvation and the grace of God over the one who made the mark and pray that God will fill your walls with more souls to make more stains!

The ministry...it's messy.

But God is in control, remember it's all about HIM.

There Is Hope

As Walter Brueggemann put it, “This family (and with it the whole family of Genesis 1–11) has played out its future and has nowhere else to go. Barrenness is the way of human history. It is an effective metaphor for
hopelessness. There is no foreseeable future. There is no human power to invent a future.”

Then, the story turns with these simple words: “The Lord . . . said . . .” (Gen 12:1). God spoke into the barrenness and chaos. It was as if He said, You’ve done your best, and this is where it has gotten you—now step aside.

Still early in the Genesis story, these words remind us of another time God spoke into darkness and chaos. Before God began to create, the “earth was formless and empty, and darkness covered the deep waters.” Into nothing, “God said . . . ” God spoke and light erupted, vegetation blossomed, humans appeared. This is still what happens whenever God speaks.

—Winn Collier

You know... I don't know where you are today. I don't know the barrenness of your heart or the possible chaos of your soul. I don't know if you are in a place where it seems that life is crumbling down all around you and you feel as though you are standing alone in the midst of all the broken pieces... but I do know that our Creator God can speak life and order and healing into whatever you are going through. I do know that He has not forsaken you, I do know that you are not alone... no matter how alone you feel.

Open up His Word and hear Him speak.

Stop trying to do it all on your own... you were never meant to.

God is there and I guarantee you that there is someone whose name is on your mind right now that you know would be there for you if they just knew what was going on. You may not have ever really spent a lot of time together. You may not have ever even talked to them. You may not know them at all, but have just seen them interact with others... but their name, their face, is before you now for a reason as you stand among the broken pieces.

Don't let pride or fear of rejection or condemnation keep you from seeking help. Don't keep hiding in the dark because our Creator said, let there be light!


A Night of Hope
So far away, so full of doubt
So lost inside, there's no way out
Within this prison I scream, I shout
But no one hears, no eyes look about
Can no one see me
Is everyone blind
My fear overwhelms me
I'm falling this time

I smile I do, I play the game
I try to be different, but nothing does change
I hate this I do, don't like how I feel
I want to be happy, I want to be sure
I want to be confident and secure
They tell me this, they tell me that
Follow ABC and all will be well with me

I've walked the line
I've jumped the hoops
But this time the tight rope is just to loose
My feet are slipping my knees to weak
My mind is reeling, into the darkness I sink
The darkness is safe, in it I hide
No one can see the thoughts of my mind
I hear the whispers, this voice so sleek
It tells me go on, in the darkness there's peace

But another voice I hear, it's distant and sweet
It whispers I love you, listen to me
It says in the darkness there is only dark
It says come to the Light, give me your heart
It says I see you, and hear you too
I know your thoughts and hear your screams
Come be still and know that it's Me
Know that I came to give you a hope
Know that I'm here, My love have I shown
Come this night and know that I'm here
Come this night know to Me you are dear

While in your tears lift up your eyes
Take them off the dark and put them on the Light
Keep them focused looking right at Me
Know that I AM is right here, you'll see
Trust in Me and in My love
Feel My arms around you embraced in a hug
Take a deep breath, breathe in My scent
Know for you My flesh was rent
I died for you that you might live
So lift up your head, for this hope to you I give

I wrote this May 7, 2009... in Him, in His Light, there is hope no matter how great the darkness, no matter how loud the chaos, no matter how barren the heart... in Him there is always Life no matter how deadened you may feel.