Take Me As You Find Me

I have been married for over 12 years and have been with my husband for over a total of 13 years. There is absolutely nothing about our marriage that statistically should foresee it as any possibility of being successful. According to the statistics that might pop up on your msn or yahoo news home page or even some of your christian media we should be destined for divorce.

However, these statistics do not factor in the grace of God.

There have been ups and downs in our marriage. There have been good times and bad. Life happens in our marriage. Issues, circumstances, junk... it happens.

In all this 13 years of life that has happened I can honestly and with all my heart say that I love my husband now more than I even imagined I could, even when I first spotted him and felt that flutter in my stomach as I watched him walk by and the "crush" began.

Our church put on a block party this past weekend. We had live bands that came and played. While I was sitting in the tent listening to one of the bands play, they began to play one of my favorite songs, Mighty to Save by Hillsong. I sat there and worshiped my God and then I heard the lyrics "take me as you find me, all my fears and failures..." My heart caught in my throat.

God whispered in my throat caught heart, "Nicole this is what marriage is about"

I took my husband as I found him. All his fears and failures came with the package.
My husband took me as he found me. And all my fears and failures came with the package... I came with alot of failures and alot of fears that mainly were formed from these failures.

My initial desire was to hide these fears and failures in a neatly tied up package in the back of my mind tucked away in a file labeled "Do Not Open EVER!"

For thirteen years God has been pulling at the string of this neatly tied up box and I have screamed, "No God, please, no... God, don't make me open that box"
However, God has a way of doing what is best for us... even when we can't see how in the world it could even be in the vicinity of good much less best.
That's why He is God and we are not.

God knew that if that box would open and the rotting contents could be opened up I would experience a breathe of fresh air in a place of my soul that had been tightly shut for years from fear and shame and not only that I would see the love my husband had for me in a whole new and secure way. I would see that he really did take me as he found me, with all my fears and failures, and he would love me with grace and mercy and compassion.

This is what marriage is about.

Everyone needs compassion, everyone needs a love that is never failing, everyone needs the kindness of a Savior, what an absolute divine thing marriage is as two people take each other and all their fears and failures and fill each others lives allowing God to use them to love this person to Him.