I know what I am supposed to do with these burdens and even though I rest on one day and lay them down at my Saviors feet and cast them upon His strong shoulders... I will catch myself running to them and grabbing them back up and trying to carry them all over again in a spilt second.
When I grab all these up I find my focus scattered.
I find myself unable to even think straight because I am trying to keep account of all my burdens.
In my inability to focus I become unable to hear my family clearly and I can't find enough quiet in my own head to complete a single thought and then I find myself frustrated and spewing irritability on everyone.
Believe it or not I think I have discovered that these times are what set me into a migraine. It begins with me being dizzy and light headed and unable to focus my eyes and then the dull throbbing begins behind my eye and wraps around my neck and up the back of my head to my forehead.
Yes, I do believe that our attitude physically affects us.
My husband and I just finished having a conversation about attitude and about the fact that we are in complete control of how we choose to respond to certain things. You see I have chosen to respond to some of the things he has said to me this week with hurt and anger and I have chosen to hang on to each instance so that I could let the justification of my irritability build with what I call hard core facts.
"See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God;
that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble,
and by it many be defiled;"
We talked about how we were both guilty of doing this to each other.
We have to make better choices... we are both learning and growing in grace.
How important it is that we recognize that we are both a work in progress.
This week I ran and picked up my burden bags and then I held on to my bitter root and in my unfocused frustrated irritability I have pouted around in between my moments of gratefulness for grace.
I have swayed back and forth by the wind of my circumstance even though I know I am to be standing strong on my solid Rock.
So once again I'm running to my God, to my Savior, to cast my burdens upon Him.
He reminded me earlier today... Nicole, just breathe. I got this.
Hi Ho! Hi Ho! It's off to the Burden Dump I go...