Saturday, July 30, 2011

Sovereign Savior

I love listening to the thunder. I love seeing the lightening. I am watching it now out my back door and it is like a strobe light reflecting on the concrete when it lights the sky. I love to hear the sound of the slow rolling thunder in the distance and I also love it when it is so close and powerful that it shakes the entire house when it sounds. The power in the thunder and lightening amaze me. I witness this and it blows my mind that my Creator controls all this with ease and His voice will thunder one day in such a way that the whole earth shakes as my house does now... Amazing.

Our God is an awesome, all-powerful, sovereign God. I know that I use the word sovereign alot here lately, but it's only because my God is just now beginning to open my eyes to the truth of what this word means.

I am learning that peace comes when I begin to even just attempt to grasp this word, this defining word of my God. Sovereign. My God is sovereign.

In Isaiah 46:1 the Word of God declares, "The things that you carry are burdensome, a load for the weary beast." The Lord is finally beginning to break through my "obstinate self and my iron sinew of a neck and bronze forehead" (Isaiah 48:4).

When God speaks of us as His children, He calls us sheep in need of a Shepherd. He does not call us mules in need of a burden. God doesn't pile stuff on us. He came to take the pile off of us. He came to lead us in the way that we should go, not stand behind us with a whip, placing blinders on the side of our head so that we can't see any other option or hope. He didn't come to place a yoke on us, but to take the yoke from us.

We carry burdens that we were never meant to carry when we forget His sovereignty.

When I forget His sovereignty. I forget His promises. When I forget His promises I despise His Word. When I despise His Word I begin to think that I am god and I must save the day. When I begin to think that I am god and I must save the day I see nothing but my failure. When I see nothing but my failure I succumb to fear. When I succumb to fear I am now under control of the one who rules through fear. I enter darkness.

Now is when God begins to whisper... Remember.

Then I remember that I am not in the kingdom of darkness, but I am a child of Light. When I remember that I am light I remember that I am loved. When I remember that I am loved I remember that perfect love casts out fear. When I remember that perfect loves cast out fear I remember that in Christ I have the victory. When I remember that Christ is my victory I remember that He is God. When I remember that He is God I run to His Word. When I run to His Word I remember His promises. When I remember His promises I remember that He is sovereign.

When I remember that He is sovereign then I have peace. Peace is a strange thing. It is not the cross-legged yoga pose with my arms extended and finger tips touching repeated "ummmmmmm" It is not a state of nothingness. It is not a world of oblivion.

Peace is found in a person. "These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace..." (John 16:33)   

As I was typing this out my husband called to tell me that a man that he worked with has just left to rush to the hospital to be with his family as his 3 yr old nephew has drown. The doctors are, as I type, trying to get the fluid off of this young child's lungs. I have lifted this little one up to my sovereign God and am praying that if it be God's will that He give this young child life. I know that this little one cannot leave this earth without God's permission, for God is sovereign even over life and death.

It is in these times that peace is put into practice. I have been here not long ago. The day I was called to rush to the hospital to identify the broken body of my sister less than a year ago. She lay there in a completely unrecognizable state. With every bone in her body broken. Her face burned and bleeding. Having just been t-boned in a collision with an 18 wheeler traveling at interstate speed. The first prayer I prayed when I saw her was "God don't let me pray selfishly" I had to pray for permission to pray for her life to be spared.

This was the hardest lesson in the sovereignty of God that I have received in my life to this point. It was also a lesson in what true peace was. Peace is not a feeling it is a place and that place is found only in the person of Jesus Christ. I learned that I can experience peace and tears at the same time. I learned that I can be still in the sovereignty of God and hurt all the same. God never asks us to stop feeling. He just asks us to trust Him not our feelings.

Peace comes when we are willing to override our feelings and believe instead in the promises of God. Peace comes when we choose faith instead of fear. The peace that is found in Christ is a place of true peace. It is not the false peace that the world offers through perception deception. The peace that we have in Christ is a rest that we have even when we are fully aware of our pain.

Like I said it is a strange thing. It is, I believe, one of the mysteries of God that I could swim in for all eternity and never understand the depth of it or reach the bottom of it. Yes it is a strange thing to me, this peace of God that is mine only when I am willing to surrender to the sovereignty of God.

Sweet surrender unto a sovereign Savior...

"For from Him
and through Him
and to Him
are all things.
To Him be the glory forever.
Romans 11:36 

Coffee with Christ

I was reminded this week of how hard it is to have a commitment that takes you and your children up and out of your home by 7am every morning. Even though that commitment was church camp.

This week was Winshape. My girls look forward to it all year. In order for them to attend we had to be up at 6am and out the door by 7am in order to meet the bus to get to camp on time. It has been a while since I have had a daily morning commitment other than spending my mornings with my God. Even VBS is not a disruption to this time because my children can sleep until around 8am.
I am very blessed and very spoiled to this time. I regularly wake up around 6am and have the joy of usually spending time in the Word until around 9am. I usually am able to have at least three precious hours every morning in the Word. I get up earlier on those mornings that I have a commitment so that I do not lose that time. I love this time. It is a priority.   

I was reminded this week how blessed I am to have this time, this privilege. I was also reminded how much I need to encourage those women who have this commitment of having themselves and their children out of the house every morning and still try to spend daily committed time in the Word with their God.

This week I failed to have unrushed time. This week I was not able to be as still before my God as I like, I was not able to focus on each individual lesson plan that I have to teach on Sunday's and as for working on Devotions from Exodus, well that didn't happen at all.

What I learned was that quality is better than quantity when it comes to study in the Word. If I had only one book to be diligently digging in, then I could have accomplished my priority and time and still managed to get me and the children out of the house this week. But with so much to study and so little time, the focus was lost and I also lost the intimacy of this time this week. It became more of accomplishing the task rather than basking in the beauty of my God.

So for the young woman, who has to work outside the home, the woman who desires to spend time with her Saviour basking in the beauty of His word and digging diligently into His truth, be encouraged. I was reminded this week of the struggle you regularly face.

If I could make any recommendation, any suggestion it would be this. Do not forsake that morning time with the Lord. I truly believe it is crucial.

"Now Abraham arose early in the morning
and went to the place where he had stood before the LORD;"
Genesis 19:27

"So be ready by morning,
and come up in the morning to Mount Sinai,
and present yourself there to Me on the top of the mountain."
Exodus 34:2

"In the morning, O LORD, You will hear my voice;
In the morning I will order my prayer to You and eagerly watch."
Psalm 5:3

"He awakens Me morning by morning,
He awakens My ear to listen as a disciple."

Isaiah 50:4 

 In the early morning, while it was still dark,
Jesus got up, left the house, and went away to a secluded place,
and was praying there.
Mark 1:35

 "Early in the morning
He came again into the temple,
and all the people were coming to Him;
and He sat down and began to teach them."
John 8:2 

Abraham is our example
David is our example.
Jesus is our example.

His mercies are new every morning (Lamentation 3:23). I believe that in the morning is when our ears are most ready to hear and our hearts most ready to listen. It is at this time that yesterday is behind us and we have the opportunity of a new beginning. It is a new day. And all things new are of God.

I just can't believe that God would give us example after example and Scripture after Scripture about spending our mornings with Him if it were not important. God only needs to say something once for it to be worthy of notice, so if He goes to the trouble to repeat Himself... well how well do we like to repeat our instructions, our word to our kids... think about it.

So if you can't give Him anything else... give Him this: your morning.

Please know that I am indeed a mother. I have gotten up at 5am to spend my mornings with God to only have a baby start screaming at 5:05am...

(When this used to happen, I would get irritated. I would blame the devil for taking this time from me and accuse him of stealing it. I would even be upset with this poor child who was the innocent victim of having something wake them this early, whether it be a sickness or a neighbors dog barking. I have learned with time and growing closer with my God that He is even soveriegn over these moments. I still struggle here... but I am learning and growing in grace every morning...) 

I have learned that 5 minutes was what I was able to give that morning...
God was fully aware that my heart was to give Him my morning. He treasured those 5 minutes and in and through Him those 5 minutes will bear fruit. 

There were even times when a screaming baby was what awoke me to my morning, sometimes a child is still what awakes me...
It is at that time that my morning still belongs to my God, but in a different way. I have learned to spend these times praising Him for what I learned in the other mornings and giving this child the same mercies that my God has given me.

Depending on the child, the age, the reason of the awaking, I have used these mornings to sooth with songs of praise sang softly into an ear while my cool cheek was pressed up against a fevered forehead. And sometimes it was spent gathering a little eager heart up into my lap and teaching them what I was doing that morning and sharing that time with them and my God.

Had they not awoke would they know that this is what I was doing while they were sleeping?   

Also another recommendation, suggestion... instead of trying to have half a dozen studies goings at once... pick one to focus on. One book of the Bible. One subject. One struggle. One thing and seek God. Seek Him with all your heart. Seek Him every morning and look for Him with hopeful expectation and strive to walk in what He has revealed to you. Learning to walk according to obedience of faith and not feelings or sight. Choose His word, not a book on someone else's opinion of His word. I love devotionals. I write devotionals, so I of course want people to read devotionals, but as a supplement snack not the main dish.

Don't put off this time with the Creator until you get home from work or until after the kids are in the bed. Yes plan for that time too! You can NEVER spend too much time in the Word, but make your mornings with Him priority. If you can't give Him anything else give Him this.

Don't have coffee with the morning show... have coffee with Christ.

"Let me hear Your lovingkindness in the morning;
For I trust in You;
Teach me the way in which I should walk;
For to You I lift up my soul."
Psalm 143:8 


Thursday, July 28, 2011

Tis So Sweet To Trust In Jesus

I debated on whether or not to blog about this... but if you are here to walk this journey of faith with me then how could I not share it.

This afternoon I went to check my mail with my 3 year old nephew in tow and as we walked back down the driveway I began thumbing through the pile of what usually is just junk and bills. Then I see it. It's a letter from the hospital.

Yeh, that mammogram that I almost walked out on because of pride and idolatry... well it came back with an abnormality and bold print to contact my doctor immediately for further test. Of course added in there is "please remain calm because your abnormality appears benign."

Of course my husband grabbed me and hugged me and lovingly and jokingly told me that I didn't need to worry because I was to mean for anything too bad to be wrong :-)

So now, I sit here tonight awaiting tomorrows return call from my doctor to let me know where I go from here. Where to go in their realm that is. In my realm I ran straight to my Jesus. To my God who is my help. My God who would not let me get my stubborn butt out of that chair last Monday...

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus
Just to take Him at His word
Just to rest upon His promise
Just to know thus sayeth the Lord
Jesus Jesus how I trust Him
How I've proved Him over and over
Jesus Jesus precious Jesus
Oh for grace to trust Him more...

I am fully aware that this could be absolutely nothing. It could be a simple shadow from the positioning of my body during the x-ray. It could be a non-threatening cyst. It could be cancer. Whatever it could be... whatever it can be... my God is sovereign over it.

I could boldly declare that it shall not be the dreaded "c" word... but who am I that it should not be?

"Then David the king went in and sat before the LORD, and he said,
“ Who am I, O Lord GOD, and what is my house,
that You have brought me this far?"
(2 Samuel 7:18)

My God's grace is sufficient.

"When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers,
The moon and the stars, which You have ordained;
What is man that You take thought of him,
And the son of man that You care for him?
Yet You have made him a little lower than God,
And You crown him with glory and majesty!"
Psalm 8:3-5

I know that He is with me... always (Matthew 28:20). 

In all things I will rejoice.
In all things I will give thanks.
In all things I will give praise.

I'm so glad I've learned to trust Him. I'm so glad that I'm still learning to trust Him. I am so glad that I have hidden His word in my heart. I am so glad that I know the depth of His love.

Oh precious one... do you know Him? Really KNOW Him? Do you know the depth of His love?

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

The Squeeze

Disclosure: Post recommended for ladies only... :-)

Well yesterday was the mammogram.
I was to be at the hospital bright and early for my 8:30 appointment. I walk in and sign in on the info sheet. And I sit and wait.
After a short moment I am motioned to come back into the office. I am then told that because of the way my doctor's order is coded my insurance will not cover this screening.
I immediately become indignant.
Then I take a deep breath and remember my lesson from my Father yesterday about my attitude adjustment.

"Remember this, and be assured;
Recall it to mind, you transgressors"
(Isaiah 46:8)

I do not want to step back into the ick of yesterday so I just breathe.

Then another woman comes out to explain again. To show me the order. To point out how the insurance world works. She tells me they can do the mammogram, but my insurance will kick it back and it will cost me over $900.00.

Now I can't breathe.
Indignance rises up again.

My first thought is to just leave and show my insurance whose boss by leaving and then, well, hey if I end up having cancer then next year I'll guess they'll pay for the chemo. Then it hits me how absolutely insane that is. Then my next thought is, well maybe I really don't even need this. I'll just leave, and this is my excuse to not deal with this until I'm 40 yrs old. But what if it's too late then... 

So I breathe again. And I remember my lesson from yesterday and I pray.
And then, after I pray, I call my doctor that ordered the mammogram to see what is going on.
As I sit there listening to an automative recording telling me "please hold, all our receptionist are busy at this time, we will answer your call as soon as possible" my thoughts are racing.

After about 5 minutes of holding (which was God making me hold, because I am the person who just hangs up and calls back later) tears are welling up in my eyes as I am brought face to face with one of my greatest struggles. My putting trust in money instead of my God. This is hard to swallow, because Jesus said we can't serve two masters (Matt 6:24), and I only want to serve my Savior.

You see I sat there in that chair with that phone to my ear dealing with my indignance and trying to come face to face with the reality of what was behind it. I had really just seriously thought that the $900 cost of the mammogram was worth more than my life. I literally had planned to just leave.

But God just would not let me get up from that chair. I felt almost foolish just sitting there, but I could not move. He physically kept me planted. I had to sit and be still and work all this out with my God. 

(Have you ever considered how you never really have a clue what might be going through someone's head at a particular moment? To those looking at me from the outside. I was woman waiting for someone to answer the phone. But on the inside I was having a get down and serious conversation with the Creator of the Universe. My heart was being laid open and bare before my eyes at that very moment by the One who formed me from birth and no one else had a clue.

Not only had I became indignant. But I had counted what my God said was precious as worthless. I had counted my girls' mother, my husband's wife, my parent's daughter, my very life, not to mention my Savior's blood that was shed for this life as not worth $900. I was ready to get up and walk out and say (excuse my language) "to hell with it."
For what? $900
I sat there trying to weigh which was worse. Paying for the test to find out that there was no reason to need it or not paying for it and discovering to late that if I had of known at this test... well. So my thought process was that I would rather pay $900 for really bad news then $900 for really good news. Exactly how does that make any sense?

God is teaching me.
What God had to show me was that one of my greatest struggles is that my peace has been connected to my bank account and not Him. I've got peace like a river and love like an ocean when the numbers are high like the incoming tide but the minute the tide rolls out for a while I'm in a state of panic.

Romans 6:16 says 
Do you not know
that when you present yourselves to someone as slaves for obedience,
you are slaves of the one whom you obey,
either of sin resulting in death,
or of obedience resulting in righteousness?

Who was I obeying?
What was controlling me?
What determined my emotions for the day?
What decided whether or not I was happy?
What pulled my joy string?
What determined whether or not I went through with a possible life saving test?

Money? Really? I almost walked out without even asking God what I should do. Letting money control me and not my God. How ludicrous of me.
Why on earth should I put my life in something as changing as money?

Had I set up an idol in my heart?

What God had to show me was that I was putting my trust in money and not Him. I depended on this bank account to fix everything. I was in fact about to let money decide my future. My security was not resting in my Mighty God, instead my security rested in money.

It's amazing what God can work out in your heart and mind in such a short amount of time. As God is laying bear the iniquity of my heart as He is putting to shame the idol that I was trusting in... the receptionist received my call.

It was indeed a coding mistake. The doctor re-sent the order for the mammogram. My insurance would cover. I had the test.

Yes God knew I needed this test.
Not necessarily the mammogram, but this test of faith.

"Behold, I have refined you,
but not as silver;
I have tested you in the furnace of affliction"
(Isaiah 48:10)

I have learned that sometimes we go through trials that are meant to refine us and develops the image of Christ that is already at work in us. And sometimes we go through trials that are a furnace of affliction that is meant to destroy anything in us that has been set up as an idol in our heart and mind.
Both are from God. Both are needed.
I give thanks to God for them (1 Thess 5:18) and I consider them all joy (James 1:2). 

This afternoon as I continued to study in the book of Isaiah as I worked on my precept homework, I was encouraged through the study to turn to a passage of Scripture.

Make sure that your character is free from the love of money,
being content with what you have;
for He Himself has said,
so that we confidently say,
(Hebrews 13:5-6)

This was no coincidence. My God has me in this study at this time for His good pleasure, to accomplish His purpose in me, His will, not mine.
I know that it is God's will that I be conformed into the image of His Son.
From glory to glory He will do this, because I cannot.  
I do not want to be controlled by anything other than my God.
I desire to only be the slave of righteousness and the willing bond-servant of Christ.

But thanks be to God
that though you were slaves of sin,
you became obedient
from the heart
to that form of teaching to which you were committed, 
and having been freed from sin,
you became slaves of righteousness. 
I am speaking in human terms because of the weakness of your flesh.
For just as you presented your members as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness,
resulting in further lawlessness,
so now present your members as slaves to righteousness,
resulting in sanctification
 (Romans 6:17-19)

I am so thankful that God never forgets the weakness of our flesh and I am also grateful that He also keeps me reminded of the weakness of my flesh. I am in the process of sanctifiation... the act of squeezing all the gunk out of me so that all that is left is the glory of my Savior.

The squeeze of sanctification is alot like the squeeze of the mammogram.
Unless you have had one, you just don't realize how your chest is connected to your head.
When the chest is squeezed, the head is connected to the pressure and can't move either.

In like manner our hearts are directly connected to our minds. As a man thinks within himself so is he (Proverbs 23:7). When our hearts are squeezed, the seed bed of our emotions and feelings, then our decisions will be made according to what state our mind is currently in because usually at this point we become immobilized.

Trials and tests and affliction are part of our sanctification and it is preventive and emergency care for sin. It is a squeezing process to show us the depravity of our minds, to reveal the iniquity of our hearts, and to remove it by the renewal of our mind.

"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect." (Rom 12:2) 

The squeeze is always worth it, no matter the cost, when abundant life is involved.

Monday, July 25, 2011

God Knows Your Lingo

All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and
to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are
wrong and teaches us to do what is right. (2 Tim 3:16)

The year was 1897. In a village garbage dump at
Oxyrhynchus, Egypt, two British archaeologists
unearthed some scraps of paper—the discarded
contents of a wastepaper basket. When the men read
the first few words on the “trash,” they knew they had
discovered something big—very big.

The Greek New Testament has a vocabulary of nearly
5,500 words, of which some 500 words were unique to
the New Testament, not seen in any prior Greek literature.
Some Bible scholars thought the unique words had been
created by the Holy Spirit to suit the purpose of God’s
revelation. But with the uncovering of the Oxyrhynchus
scraps of paper, it became clear that the words of the New
Testament simply reflect the common language of the street.
As we read, “All Scripture is inspired by God” (2 Tim.
3:16), doesn’t it shed new light on the Author of Scripture?
God is holy, but He’s also deeply personal. He doesn’t
speak to us in grandiloquence (extravagant language),
but in a way that captures the meaning of an abbreviation
that people sometimes text: “HTHT” (heart-to-heart talk).

-- Poh Fang Chia

This is our God. How absolutely awesome is He? There are not enough words to describe is attributes. It is His desire to communicate with us. He knows the language He needs to use for us to "get Him". When we read of the account of the Holy Spirit coming to indwell believers on the day of Pentecost in Acts 2 we read,

"When the day of Pentecost had come, they were all together in one place. And suddenly there came from heaven a noise like a violent rushing wind, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting. And there appeared to them tongues as of fire distributing themselves, and they rested on each one of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit was giving them utterance. Now there were Jews living in Jerusalem, devout men from every nation under heaven. And when this sound occurred, the crowd came together, and were bewildered because each one of them was hearing them speak in his own language." (Acts 2:1-6)   

Each one of them was hearing them speak in his own language. God comes to us. He knows our language. He knows our lingo. He will meet us were we are at. He will send someone to us who knows our language to share His truth with us. That language is not necessarily a different speaking dialect.

Have you ever used the saying, "Now your speaking my language"?

Sometimes that language is someone who somehow knows exactly what is in your heart and on your mind at exactly that time and is able to absolutely and completely relate to you and is able to relate the truth of the Word of God to you in a way that speaks to you where you are at, at that very moment in your life.
Our God is good like that.

Sometimes I mean to say one thing but something else comes out. Something totally random usually. An example happened today. My husband asked what time I was leaving to go pick up our girls from their church camp (Winshape) today.
To which I replied, "I'll plan to leave here around 5pm because they get out at 5pm and by the time they load the kids and drive from Birmingham it will be about 5:30pm before they get back to the church." 

Now I suppose that sounds like a perfectly normal statement... except for the fact that what I meant to say was First Bible not Birmingham.
Birmingham is an hour south from First Bible and is a city not a church. I have no clue where Birmingham came from, but it came out of my mouth anyway.

I do stuff like that all the time.
Fortunately the people around me know my language or are at least learning it. Actually some of them even speak it. And yes I believe that's one of the reasons that God put us in each others paths.

God knows our lingo. He can speak our language. He speaks to us plainly and His Word translates to the dialect of our hearts and transcends to the depths of our very souls. 
Yes, He is indeed good like that.

"His disciples said, “Lo, now You are speaking plainly..."
(John 16:29)

Sunday, July 24, 2011

New Attitude

I promise I have good days. I have absolutely glorious days actually. Or maybe I should say that I have absolutely glorious moments in somewhat good every days...
This morning started well. I was up when the alarm went off. The coffee was making, I actually hung some laundry out on the line while the coffee was finishing up and walked back inside to the ding of the ready pot. I gathered my things and headed out to my sacred spot outside to sit with my Lord, to pray, and to go over my morning lesson in Luke 2 one more time.
All was going well.
I had an 8am teachers meeting this morning. I knew this would cut into my sacred morning time... but I had resounded that I would have a good attitude and would be on time. My prayer, well I'll just share a little of it with you...

Oh Father,
Guard my ways carefully, watch that there not be a rebellious spirit rise up in me or a spirit of grumbling and complaining. That would be it in a nutshell wouldn't it? Grumbling, rebellion, ungratefulness... it's not pretty. Oh Father guard my mouth today...

Hmmmpph... guess how I left the house this wonderful morning late for my 8am meeting?

Yes, all was great until it came time to put clothing on this body. I stood in the closet staring at my clothes knowing it would be one of those days, but somehow unable to stop it. I walked out of the closet and decided that I would deal with that later... hair and make-up first.

Now back to the closet. The problem... yes if you recall it's the week that nothing fits right. It's the week that the mere thought of anything form fitting to my midsection makes me cramp and gain 10lbs. This is the week that my doctor's recommended hysterectomy sounds more and more tempting, but then there's that whole hope of a slight miraculous conception that I'm holding on to... so I still just cannot bring myself to do the hysterectomy yet. So I continue with this struggle of mine, of hormone induced emotional ick and physical exhaustion and painful uncomfortablness.

But you see it wasn't my fault I was allowing this to control me. Of course not! It could not possibly be me. It was this ridiculous 8am meeting. I mean really how dare they not accommodate me in the planning of this meeting. After morning worship would be much better for me... so everyone needs to adjust to my schedule... right?

Well I grumble and complain to myself all the way to church. Still visibly peterbed you might say as I run in and grab a seat. My attitude so needed adjusted. I was not going to do this! I knew this could happen today and I had told myself this would not happen. I had told myself I was going to go to the meeting and be excited about the upcoming changes and new year and be ultra supportive and submitting. NOT!

And worse, I left my poor husband at home with a daughter who had picked up my mood as I walked out the door. They got to church and my husband is frowning and my beautiful daughter has showed up with a tear streaked face because she too had stood in front of the closet door and had a meltdown over what to wear to church.

Another what not to wear tip: A Bad Attitude      

I used to think I was a pretty good old girl, a pretty good catch, until I started writing this blog...
I realize I am a mess... really just a flat out mess.
It's a good thing that God takes our mess and makes it our message.
But hey, if I wasn't a mess, I wouldn't need a Messiah.

I would say that maybe tomorrow you will get a blog post that is a ray of sunshine and tells you all about how great and wonderful it is to be me. I would say that... but tomorrow is mammogram day. So don't get your britches in a wad waiting on that ray of sunshine post...  :-)

I promise I have good days... I really do!

So did God not answer my morning prayer?
Yes, He did answer it.
I asked Him to watch for me and He did indeed watch and He let me know the whole time He was watching... and now I am confessing and resting in His forgiveness and next time I will know to listen when He is watching and stop and pray for strength to put to death these deeds of my flesh.

I gotta new attitude :-) Going old school!