Sunday, January 15, 2012

Something's Missing

My husband works a swing shift. He swings from days to nights. Before the swing shift he worked nights or second shift. I have to keep his work schedule in the kitchen to keep up with when he works and what shift and if he is working overtime or swapping with somebody and he also travels a good bit with his job. So obviously we have never been a family of routines or perfectly kept tight schedules. We don't know if we are coming or going half the time.

With this crazy life we have there is nothing strange about me going to bed alone or waking up alone. On day shift he is up and out the door before I am awake and on night shift he is in the car and gone before most families are even beginning to cook supper. I say all this to share my moment this morning.

It happens to be an out of town time for my husband {so our Amos is going to get to sleep out tonight even though the stupid (this was a bad word in our house until Amos moved in... there is no other word accurate enough to describe him) dog decided he would sneek on the couch a few days ago after we went to bed and then when my husband caught him early the next morning and told him to get down, the dog chose to mark his territory on the couch cushion. I shall brave the possibility of a peed on couch for peace of mind as I sleep and trust the ferocious, yet stupid, beast to pee on any intruders}. Anyway, I woke this morning enough to tell my man goodbye and that I loved him... and then I rolled over to catch my last hour of sleep before my alarm went off.

Then my alarm went off and I rolled over and started my day, I was up and fixing my coffee, and gathering my stuff for church, and considering my plans for the day... and then I realized I had went back to sleep and was dreaming all of this. (Yep, I do that.)

So now I am fully awake, feet on the cold floor, socks in my hand, and heading to the bathroom. I turn on the light and look to the sink and then my heart falls. I see it. I see the evidence. I see my reminder, my sign, that my husband is gone out of town not just to work. His toothbrush is missing. Who would have ever thought that a toothbrush could do that?

For some reason I saw my sign and then my mind went to my grandparents. You see I remember when my Papaw Harris went to be with the Lord. My Mamaw Lola could not sleep in their bed. She had slept on her side with her back up against my Papaw's back since she became his wife close to sixty years earlier at the age of fifteen. Now his back was missing. She chose to sleep on the couch because she could put her back to the couch and when she closed her eyes... she could imagine it was him.

So I saw my sign, my husband's missing toothbrush, and I thought... I will never throw it away. Sixty years from now if the Lord calls my man home before He calls me... don't you dare touch his toothbrush. It will stay in its place and my heart will leap with joy each morning because at least for a moment, before I fully awake I would forget that he was gone. It may seem silly... but it is what it is.

So what's your sign that something's missing to remind you that someone's missing?

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