Ladies… those that are still with me… you have made it past the halfway point in the challenge. I do hope that the past seventeen days have been a time of quiet reflection and heart examination and most importantly a time of weeding out deception.
My sister in Christ, I hope you understand how I desire to see you walk in victory, how I desire that you know who you are in Him, how I desire that you know that He can indeed meet your every need, how I desire that you live a life worthy of your calling, how I desire to see the glorious name of Christ magnified through you as you live a life that testifies of His grace and mercy and love and power over the evil one and even over your own heart…
Let us put to death the deeds of the flesh and let us live and walk by the Spirit of our God.
Today we are going to begin talking about the power of our words…
What is a four-letter word for a woman’s favorite foreplay activity?
Think about it. What affair has ever taken place without intimate words exchanged? Women often tell me, “I’ve not been unfaithful to my husband. All this man and I have done is talk.”
~ Shannon Ethridge
Ladies, have you heard that one as well?
Have you used that one as well?
Or maybe as a single woman you used this referring to someone else’s husband… with your back straight and your head high maybe you’ve said, “Well I can’t believe his wife is so jealous, I mean good grief, we are just friends, all we have ever done is talk!”
Or as a single girl to a single guy friend you have no intentions of pursuing romantically, “I don’t know why he thought I was in to him, all I ever did was talk with him”
Let me ask you… as you talked, what did you talk about? How did you smile? What was your body language like? Where did your hands go while you talked? The longer you talked how deep into their eyes did you look? What would you have done, how would you have felt if their spouse, or your spouse, walked in at that exact moment?
As you asked yourself these questions did you start making excuses?
You can betray with words long before you betray with your body. Be very careful… there is a very thin line between being “a cut-up” and “flirting”. Make sure you do not cross it…
Men and women and different, you may not be doing or saying anything that you wouldn’t do or say if it was another female you were talking to… but this is not another female this is a male. So be careful. If you are paying attention you will know the moment that you or they have crossed the line.
We must remember what we have already learned…an affair begins long before sexual intercourse ever takes place. It begins in your mind and in your heart. Your words prove it. Then your body acts on it.
For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart.
The good man brings out of his good treasure what is good;
and the evil man brings out of his evil treasure what is evil.
But I tell you that every careless word that people speak,
they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment.
For by your words you will be justified,
and by your words you will be condemned.”
Regardless of her marital status, should a woman stir up a man (emotionally or physically) when she has no intention of pursuing a relationship with him? Is it loving to tease someone with your attentions and affections if you have no desire to fulfill any hopes you may arouse? In my opinion, showing a sincere love and respect for others allows no room for flirting or teasing.
In my opinion, it is never appropriate for a married woman to behave amorously with anyone other than her husband. If we go back to one of our definitions of a woman of integrity, you’ll remember that she lives a life that lines up with her lips, and vice versa. If we are going to be loyal to our marriage partner, we must demonstrate our faithfulness not just in our actions, but also in our communication with other people.
Even if you do not have serious intent when you begin batting compliments or overly friendly exchanges with a man, the excitement of those ego strokes can pull you down the road toward sexual compromise, usually slowly, but sometimes at lightning speed.
But immorality or any impurity or greed
must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints;
and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting,
which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.
Married ladies here’s the trap I think we fall into… our home becomes the place of business and then the office, the school, the ball field, and yes even church… becomes the playground.
At home you and your spouse discuss the business at hand. What bills need paid, what appointments need met, what chores need done, who needs ran where at what time, etc. Then you go on and take care of business, possibly never even touching each other or even looking each other in the eyes.
But at work, school, church, wherever… it doesn’t matter… there is that person that smiles at you. There is that person who compliments you. There is that person that notices your hard work. There is that person that light-heartedly makes all the comments and winks at you as they say them. They actually looks at you when they talks to you. They noticed your new hair-do; they noticed that shirt brought out your eyes. They never once mentioned something you forgot, something you broke, or something you just didn’t do just right… so you are giddy… and Satan is getting you ready.
Ladies, let me ask you, when was the last time you “noticed” your husband? When was the last time you complimented him? When was the last time you used your words to just “play” with him? When was the last time you “flirted” with your man?
Today’s challenge, I want you to focus on flipping the playground if just by chance you are caught in the mundane marriage trap. It most certainly does not have to be that way… your home can be the playground… it should be the playground.
You know that shirt that is in the closet that you realized is little too low cut to wear out… well; wear it at home for your husband. Make a point to lean into him so that he notices… but not so obvious (don’t act like you don’t how to do this
Make sure you touch him when he walks by you… if you haven’t done this in a while… he is already going to be wondering what is going on. You can just start out with a touch on his arm or placing your hand on his hip as you pass each other in the bathroom or kitchen. You can start out slow and start seducing your husband… He will LOVE it and so will you.
Do not get discouraged if he doesn’t respond for a while, just keep it up. Don’t expect him to do the same to you… this isn’t about you. This is about you honoring your God, and honoring your marriage and honoring your husband and giving any attention that you have been giving away to others back to him.
If you have been just business and routine at home for a while… this is going to blow his mind. Start flirting with your husband. Make a point to look in his eyes and give him “that look”. My husband knows my looks… he can see my heart through my eyes. I bet yours can too, even if he hasn’t looked in a while. It just might be becasue he didn’t see himself there anymore…
Make little sexual innuendoes towards him. Ladies, here is the fun of marriage! Your home is where the playground should be.
I remember watching a comedian once, I don’t remember who he was, I am sure he wasn’t a Christian comedian… because it was before I was walking with the Lord… but he was sharing about being out on the road as his comedian act demanded… and of course any man on a “stage” has women after him. He shared how some woman came up to him to seduce him to have sex with her and she said something like “I will do things for you your wife would never do…”He said he just laughed at her and said “You don’t know my wife!”
You see ladies, that’s the way I want my husband to be able to respond to any seductress! Yes I want him to honor our marriage out of His obedience and love for God, but I also want him to just flat out enjoy me. So often as Christian women we are uncomfortable with sex because the world has done a mighty fine job of distorting it and making it look “dirty” but sex in the confines of marriage between man and wife is not dirty at all, it is holy.
So let us use our words to flirt and tease with the one that we can actually follow through with our bodies and maintain our emotional and sexual integrity.
Honey, are you willing to become “undignified” and throw all caution to the wind in order to blow your husband’s mind?