I sit here in front of the computer screen this afternoon, having opened my Bible to share a little bit of what I learned this early morning as I studied in Isaiah. In the background two little girls are fighting over what channel the television should be on. The youngest one whining in such a way that makes my neck tense up and head tilt in that sideways fashion that says "omgosh". The oldest one is returning the youngest one's whine with a bossy hatefulness that makes my chest tighten and my flesh crawl and then here it comes out of my mouth, "LADIES!!!"
Today that was enough, they quickly decided on Tom and Jerry and now are laughing and playing together as the best friend sisters we are trying so hard to raise them to be. It's not always that easy... especially this time of the month. (Sorry gentlemen for those of you who are reading this, but this is just the facts of the case. Pay attention, you might learn something that will make your future much more peaceful.)
I sat not long ago in the floor, I would guess, yes, probably exactly one month ago, and had a moment with my Creator. The moment- "Oh God, please tell me that our glorified bodies will not need hormones!"
I don't recall the struggle being this bad when I was younger, though my husband would probably disagree. I wonder if possibly it is because I try to live in such a way that I am aware of the deeds of my flesh so that I can in the power of the Holy Spirit put them to death before they cause me to sin against my God or if it truly just grows harder as (cover your ears young ladies) the ugly word "middle-aged woman" begins to define me.
You see during this time, puberty re-appears, displayed by random acne, pregnancy re-appears, displayed by an instant 5 month pregnant looking belly and swollen ankles and if that's not enough, mental breakdown and physical exhaustion from the constant feeling of anxiousness leads to a complete lack of emotional control and then often depression because you seem to have lost it and have no clue why. It is in these moments, these days, that the wrath of woman is felt by all in the house.
In this day, God help the poor child that spills her drink on the freshly mopped floor or the husband who asks for just one more thing he could have just as easily and more conveniently done himself and the dog who makes the mistake of tripping you as you walk by with your arms loaded down with everybody else's dirty laundry.
It is in these days that I cling to Romans 8:23 for dear life "And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body." Yes, God please redeem this body! Redeem this anxious, depressed, senile, frustrated, irritated, irrational female!
Fella's these days are why God commanded you to LOVE your wife. We can't help this. I wish we could. Of course ladies this does not give us the excuse to make the lives of our families a living hell for one week out of the month. I cannot count the times that in these days I have over and over again fell to the floor in a heap and cried out to God and let Him know that my flesh was winning. I was totally defeated and losing the battle. Then my God would remind me that He pours out His Spirit without measure. In these days is when I cry out for more of the Holy Spirit. "God, I need a double portion!"
When I have stopped long enough to do this God has never failed to wash me with His Word and pour out a full measure of grace upon me and give me His peace that surpasses all understanding. I can physically feel the wave of calmness come over me as I stop and sit still in front of Him. Being still and remembering that He is God, remembering that in Him all things hold together... including my sanity.