Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Nightmare Before Christmas

Me and my dreams... I will never be a Jacob or a Joseph or a Peter... I will never be someone who could trust that a dream was from God. I dream too crazy. I think even the Almighty fears what goes on in this head of mine when I lay down to sleep, (just kidding, I know He fears nothing!)

So it is... what? Four days until Christmas? Yep, Four days. I have zero, count them... 0... gifts wrapped. Our tree has been up since the day after the infamous Iron Bowl, and it stands all lonely with it's skirt undecorated with boxes, and bags, and bows... I don't believe I have even taken a picture of it this year. December has been one big blur... just like all of 2011 and the end of 2010 has been.

But back to my dream...

Let's see I recall walking in the back door  and turning out of our kitchen and into the dining room to see a big white ceramic bowl that was purchased for my husband's stepmom (this bowl is not a real gift we have purchased, I don't know where it came from).
I ask him why in the world the bowl is out?
He says, I used to it to make the chicken wings. I needed a big bowl to mix them in the hot sauce
Well now he is in the hot sauce!
I come up to him and begin hitting him on the shoulders with the dish towel that I have in my hand while I yell, Now I have to go back to town! You know I hate shopping! Why in the world did you do that! I can't believe you! 
He of course is laughing at me the whole time, which just makes me madder.

So I go and grab all the rest of the gifts and go to hide them so I can get them wrapped before he gets a hold of another, then I can't figure out where to do this without my kids, because I don't want them to see their gifts.
So I find a room at church (yes now I am at church) and plan to hide in there to wrap, but then somebody sees me and asks me to help with something for a minute... I look at my gifts, sigh, and go off to help.

The next thing I know I am surrounded by crying kids who can't find there baseball that was hit into a thicket of pine trees (Christmas trees I do believe) and I have been recruited to find the ball. Somehow I now have the ability to walk around in the tops of the trees and search out the ball. I am surrounded by green pine and then those trees turn into something like astroturf and I am up under it grabbing hold of the ball and pop out triumphantly holding it... although for some reason it is quite squished.

Now I head back to tackle my gift wrapping and remember that I still have to replace the big white bowl!

So I look at my gifts again and sigh and head off to the stores, yet I am in shoes that make my feet hurt, so I am quite grumpy... pouty... and frustrated.

Somehow in the midst of all this I also end up on a road trip with my in-laws and I am refereeing my girls on who is going to get to push the elevator button and all I can think about are the gifts, unwrapped and hid in the room, waiting on me.

Finally, this morning, my husband comes home from his nightshift and wakes me up from my craziness and guess what...

Those gifts are still in a room hid, unwrapped, waiting on me.
And yes I still have one more shopping day I have to take.
And I must ditch the kids in order to do all the above.

I awoke to discover my nightmare was not a dream, LOL!
Tis the season to be jolly?

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