Monday, January 2, 2012

Beginning 2012 With Innocence Lost

New Years day was spent first at home getting ready for church... which we managed to do without any yelling or meltdowns and we only pulled into the parking lot 5 minutes late...
Then at church the last gifts to be studied in my spiritual gifts class were discussed and we left small group to head to "big church" to listen to one of the cutest couples I have ever seen share about their missions adventures in Guatemala.
Then we were off to spend the rest of the day at my in-laws.

My momma-in-law had a copy of The Help, a movie I had not seen but had wanted to, so we popped it in. PG-13 should be fine with the kids running around... right?
I cringed with the first "gd" and hoped there would not be another... there was, but they never fell when the children were in the room (whew).

Then Bekah, tired and not feeling all too wonderful yesterday crawled up in my lap while the movie was playing... in closed-caption I mind you...

Her first question came.
"Momma why can't she go to the bathroom?"   

So the explanation of the civil rights movement began and as I spoke my child's beautiful innocent eyes looked at me with utter befuddled confusion. The fact that someone could be treated so horrible simply because of the color of her skin was completely foreign and insane to her. Proof that racism is taught, not natural.

Her next question came.
"But why Momma?" 

My only answer.
"Foolish ignorance and human self-righteousness"

The next lesson my youngest child learned from The Help was just as upsetting to her... and me.

While watching the movie, the time of Minny's revenge came, and at this time my little one decided to enter the room once again... and at the exact time that (in closed caption) Minny says, "Eat my s**t". To which I look in horror to my child who is watching (and reading) and then turns to me and says "Momma what's s**t?" 


So I have to take my young beautiful innocent child to another room and explain to her what s**t is. I laugh in uncomfortable situations. So now I am trying to explain the seriousness of why we do not use this word without my uncomfortable situation laughter, because in truth my heart is breaking, and I feel like I have failed my child.

She asked, "Momma if it is just another word that people use for poo-poo what's so bad about it?"
I then have to explain about profanity and what God says in His Word about speaking with these words and how this is not a word we are to use.

 and there must be no filthiness and silly talk,
or coarse jesting, which are not fitting,
but rather giving of thanks.
Ephesians 5:4

Then she erupts in tears.
It hits her that she has just said a bad word and she is horrified.
Her heart is broken and my heart is broken because it was my job to protect her...

I hold her close in my arms and cuddle her up and close and explain to her that it was not her fault and she did not know it was a bad word and that it was going to be okay. Then she says, "I'll forget it Momma! I forget things I read and hear all the time" 

Then we pray that God would help her forget it and replace it with good words... and though this may seem an insignificant moment to some... it was heart wrenching for her and for me as well... to watch her heart break and to see innocence leaving her before my very eyes.

Oh that all our hearts would break with such horror at the thought and realization of "bad words" coming out of our mouths. That all of us would be so confused and befuddled at the cruelty that comes from the foolish ignorance of self-righteous human beings.

I learn so very much from my children...

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