Okay so it's after midnight and I have been searching my blog posts for a post I am pretty sure I did on the subject of fasting while studying Isaiah... although that could be one that was a draft then deleted or something I posted somewhere else or could be something I wrote in a journal with actual pen and paper...
The reason I was searching for it was to back up my reasons for this post and also to see where I was in my thought process concerning fasting when I wrote it. I feel the Lord has called me to a fast. However I do not have a set reason... other than the desire to be completely and totally in His will and walking in it with full confidence. There are several areas in my life where I go "well I don't know... maybe this... or maybe that..." There are some areas that I need solid assurance not wishy washy maybes... because I know my God is a solid Rock... He is not wishy or washy... and He has a plan... I need to be still and see if He is willing to give me the heads up on what that plan might be.
However when I even think "fast" my stomach starts growling and my head starts hurting... and the excuses begin and the compromises come. So this is my accountability. I usually try a secret fast. The don't-let-the-right-hand-know-what-the-left-hand-is-doing fast, but for me it makes it too easy to compromise and take a big ole bite of whatever.
Here's the thing.
I will be teaching on love from 1 Corinthians 13 this coming Sunday morning as I finish up a study on spiritual gifts and then I will be leading an adult small group study from the book of Job beginning the next Sunday.
This Sunday, after my small group, I will immediately go to teach our children at church on Bible prophecy through the book of Revelation.
On Monday I will be back to teaching during our homeschool co-op chapel time on the names of God and I also teach a Zoology class.
I also am involved in a prayer wall ministry and will be speaking at a ladies retreat in March.
Then of course their is my writing.
And being a wife to my wonderful husband.
And motherhood and homeschooling my girls.
And all the other stuff in between...
So many times people ask me how I have the time for all that I do... and I immediately begin to try to make excuses and justify and defend and basicly apologize for my service... I have no clue why I do that.
The simple truth is that as long as I am doing what He alone has called me to do, my God, the Author and Finisher, the I AM, the Beginning and the End, the One not bound by time, space, or matter, He always manages to make enough time for me to accomplish whatever He has called me to do. It's all Him. And I have no clue how He does it... He just does.
So my fast...
My fast is to make sure that I am serving on His time, in His time, for His time, with His time, so that I always have time. In His strength not my own. Not my will but His will be done. No wishy-washy maybe but only a sold rock of assurance. I like my face set like flint, fully focused on the prize of my Christ. Obeying His Word, His Way, His will.
Accountability: to help me keep my mouth closed and my heart open
It's 1am now...
I'll let you know how well this fast goes.
Hopefully I will not be defeated with breakfast...