It is 7:40pm and I have been successful in my fast today as in the not caving part... However, I still ponder the point of the fast... and why God has called me to it.
I am at the point now where I am having to fight little irritations that normally would not bother me. In all honesty I know I am far from starving. But at the same time I know that I could easily open the refrigerator door and consume every leftover that I know is in there.
So it seems that what God is teaching me is self-control and patience. Sometimes and opportunity is right there, easy and ready for the taking. But maybe I shouldn't dive into old leftovers when quite possibly my God has something new and fresh for me if I will just be patient and wait on Him. Maybe what God is teaching me with this fast is the crucifixion of my flesh. Maybe He is simply strengthening me in my prayer to be kind and to love and to respond with grace. I still am not sure if the fast is over... or if it continues into tomorrow... my God will let me know.
I still am searching and seeking His face as I wait on answers to questions that have entered my head and heart during this day of fasting. Questions that pertain to future opportunities and directions of ministry. Life is about to kick back into full gear and the full gear comes with new studies, new speaking engagements, and new ministry opportunities. It comes with decisions regarding our home and family. I must trust God to open doors and close them and not barge through demanding my way... when it might not be His plan at all.
I have stopped to write this post and my girls have interrupted me at least three times each... once to describe the jelly on their sandwhich, once to ask me if I knew that their pj's were fireproof, once to ask if I would play a game, and etc... so I am saying goodnight to the blog and am heading into the living room to participate in a hardcore game of Phase 10 played our way before I send my youngens off to bed and then pour my eyes over and over the wisdom of the Word of my God.