Saturday, July 16, 2011

Driving School Part 2

I have completed my driving school adventure and am determined to not be there again.
It makes me sick to think that the money that is going to pay for this is coming out of my families budget. It makes it worse for me as a stay-at-home mom, a housewife. You see I don't add to this budget. So I hate taking from it... always have. I try to cost my husband as little as possible.

*** (Please know that it frustrates my husband to know end that I feel this way... but I can't help it, I just do. He does not push me to work outside the home and is very supportive of me being at home with our girls and homeschooling them. We both thoroughly enjoy the fact that our family is together more than it is apart and that we are not dependant upon the state of Alabama to tell us when we can take a family trip or take our children to the doctor. We have never been a scheduled family. My husband's work hours have always crazily fluctuated... so homeschool just works best for us for a plethora of reasons. Besides the fact that we absolutely love being able to teach our girls from a Biblical worldview.) 

When something like this speeding ticket happens, heaps of condemnation are dumped upon my shoulders by the enemy of my soul. I immediately begin to think that I need to quit teaching at church and at home and I need to just quit writing books and studies and go to work outside the home full time so I can be a contributing factor to our household financially.
Then with that thought comes... well who would hire me? I am a thirty-four year old woman who has never had a full-time job. The thought of filling out a job application or trying to put together a resume makes me cringe. All my past part-time employments are now out of business... well with the exception of substitute teaching. By the time I get to this point I feel as if I am a nobody who has nothing to offer anyone.

Oh how thankful I am that I am aware that my feelings will lie to me. How thankful I am that my God has warned me that my heart can and will deceive me.

"We will know by this that we are of the truth,
and will assure our heart before Him 
in whatever our heart condemns us;
for God is greater than our heart and knows all things."
1 John 3:19-20. 

How thankful I am that He has give me His word in which to hold up the Light of truth to the darkness of lies and expose them for what they really are. How thankful I am that my Jesus warned me that the flesh was weak. How thankful I am that He taught me that man does live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. How thankful I am that He has told me over and over that He is Lord. He is Jehovah-jireh. He is Creator. He is the One who owns all the cattle on a thousand hills. The world and all it contains are His. Yes indeed, the truth will set you free.

"Who among you will give ear to this?
Who will give heed and listen hereafter?
Who gave Jacob up for spoil, and Israel to plunderers?
Was it not the LORD, against whom we have sinned,
And in whose ways they were not willing to walk,
And whose law they did not obey?
So He poured out on him the heat of His anger
And the fierceness of battle;
And it set him aflame all around,
Yet he did not recognize it;
And it burned him, but he paid no attention."

But now, thus says the LORD, your Creator, O Jacob,
And He who formed you, O Israel,
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name; you are Mine!
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they will not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched,
Nor will the flame burn you.
“For I am the LORD your God,
The Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I have given Egypt as your ransom,
Cush and Seba in your place.
“Since you are precious in My sight,
Since you are honored and I love you,
Isaiah 42:24 - 43:4

You see the Lord has burned me several times for speeding, but I have not paid attention. I have had no regard for the authority of these posted signs and chose to believe that what I had to do, where I had to be, overrode these signs. I would even justify myself by convincing myself how ridiculous that speed was on that particular road anyway. But the bottom line is these signs are put in place by a government that my God ordained whether my government recognizes it or not (Romans 13:1-7). And I am to obey them as I obey God, as long as they do not contradict the higher law of my God. So by not obeying these, I am not obeying God. So I can be mad at the police officer that, (as my driving school instructor liked to say), blessed my heart all I want, but the truth that I cannot escape is that it was my God who gave me up for spoil. 

BUT, He still loves me. I am still His. I am still precious in His sight. He still has redeemed me. And as I go through whatever waters or fire He has me pass through to burn away this rebellious flesh of mine I know that He will be with me, because He said He would be.
Now my mother was so kind as to hire me out to clean her house. Which thankfully was enough to cover my driving school fees and a fourth of my court cost. So I thank God for that. And of course the Clorox high I received from cleaning all the baseboards and doors and kitchen cabinets Friday afternoon possibly made driving school more bearable this Saturday morning (ummm just kidding). Can you really even get high off of clorox, lol? I did make the almost fatal mistake of mixing clorox and ammonia one time when I was cleaning the bathroom when we first got married. DON'T EVER DO THAT! 

I suppose from now on I will have to become the woman you are passing instead of the woman passing you.
I might make it fun and get me a special hat when I drive... the kind of hat I used to see through someone else's back window and know that I was going to have to get around them some how or loose my mind.

Yes, I think that just might be what I do...and as a matter of fact I do believe I already own said hat, courtesy of my wonderful great grandmother. I even have her gloves to boot :-) 


  1. I found you through Faithful Bloggers, and really enjoyed the visit. I wound up reading through a number of your posts, and appreciate the honesty you reveal in your writing. I hope the bump on your head from the brick the Lord threw has healed by now (several posts ago)... and I'll be sure and say a prayer for you in my prayer time to make sure your "me" is covered ;)

  2. your prayers are very much appreciated :-) and always welcome! I seem to get one brick in the head after another... it's a good thing that I am able to use these bricks in the head to lay a solid foundation on which to stand firm in the Word of our God :-) be blessed in the LORD!