Victory

Victory comes in different forms.
I experienced victory today.

Today at the Author Expo I sat there with my mother for four hours and sold zero books.
Yep that's right.
A big fat goose egg of a zero.

So how did selling zero books after smiling at strangers and handing out business cards and book info cards for four hours result in being an experience in victory?

My response to selling zero books.
That's how :-)

Probably no less than six months ago, driving over an hour, to sit for four hours, and sell zero books, and then spend over another hour driving back home, would have resulted in my very own pit of despair. Oh the slump of my shoulders would have been great as it matched the sagging slouch in my back as my face fell heavy and my smile diminished in my distraught state of doubt and confusion and frustration. By this time I would have told myself how foolish and just plain silly I was for thinking anyone would want to read anything by me. 

I would be wollering in self-pity and pouring into my spiral notebook pages of all my "why's" and "how come's" to God. My wide-ruled page lines would be bleeding blue because of the wetness of my tears as I sobbed my drama queen fit out in written words to a God I am thankful is willing to not strike me dead for my way too often and too easily come over-reactions.

However this was not my responce today...
Today was victory!
No self-pity!
No wallowing in tears or blue bleedings from blubberings!

I sit here now and I am good and I am perfectly at peace.

I had a wonderful day with my mother.
I met some pretty interesting people.

And I don't have to worry about whether or not I should order some more books to have on hand because I still got plenty.

My God is good.
My God is not going to let all that He has put within me die.
It is His word that He has put within me and His word endures forever.

The grass withers, the flower fades,
But the word of our God stands forever.

Isaiah 40:8

He will accomplish what He started in me. Though I may presently remain clueless as too what exactly He has started in me... :-)

The LORD will accomplish what concerns me;
Your lovingkindness, O LORD, is everlasting;
Do not forsake the works of Your hands.

Psalm 138:8

My God is good.

This I know full well.

So when up at 5am on a Saturday plus driving over an hour to sell zero books equals it still being well with my soul... Well this most definitely clearly means victory experienced!

I hope maybe, just maybe, the Holy Trinity is up there looking down on me and saying Awww look, I think she might actually be growing up, look at our baby girl, you know just six months ago this little trial would have sent her over the edge and she would have been pouting for a week... but look at her now, yep our baby girl is finally starting to grow up...;-)